Learning How To Overcome Shyness
Most of us suffer from some form of shyness at some time in our life, no one is confident and assured all the time. But for some people, shyness can be a life altering thing that stops them from carrying out a normal and satisfying life. For these learning how to overcome shyness is an essential part of their future happiness.
Discovering what causes shyness can be helpful in understanding how to overcome it. There are two main reasons for shyness; insecurity and past experiences. If, when you were young, you had a person embarrass you when you spoke out, then this can have long lasting effects.
In order to overcome this aspect of shyness, It is important to understand other people. People are generally quite self centered, and the chances are that negative responses to things that you say are more likely to be about how they are feeling about themselves at that moment rather than anything you have said.
The biggest reason for shyness is insecurity and a fear of being laughed at or ignored when you speak to people. It is important to be self aware of how you feel about yourself and your insecurities. The only way you can really overcome it is by making yourself speak and then reaping the benefits.
When you are practicing talking to people, start small. Start by smiling at people, looking them in the eye and simply saying hello. For many people who have extreme shyness or social phobias, this is when the physical problems may come in. You may experience rapid heartbeat, blushing, a churning stomach and uneven breathing. Learn relaxation techniques to try and control these physical reactions.
Once you have become more adept at saying hello it is time to start practicing how to be a the kind of person that people want to talk too. Most people like talking about themselves and, when starting a conversation with someone, pay attention to what they are answering and reflect back the information at some point so they feel special and like they are really being listened too.
Learn to actively listen. Really pay attention to what someone is saying, ask them questions and listen to the answers. It is a good idea to practice conversations where you limit the use of the word, ‘I’. People quickly turn of their interest if you are more interested in talking about yourself.
If you follow these rules you will find that people will start to seek you out to talk to you. This will increase your confidence and might help you to believe that you are a good person to talk to, and worthy of peoples conversation. Always remember, what you have to say is just as important as any one else’s conversation and people may also be shy, and be glad that it was you that broke the ice!
If you still find that you are struggling, you may be suffering from a social phobia. Don’t be afraid to go to your doctor to help you learn how to overcome shyness. They may prescribe a course of cognitive behavioral therapy which is a talking therapy that can help to alter the perception that you have of yourself, therefore meaning that you find it easier to relate to other people. Do not suffer alone, there is always someone out there who can help you.
